Panama!

Over the past few months, I've tried to answer the question "How was Panama?" or "how did your trip go?" and a variety of other questions. My answer has been of the form "Fantastically Amazing!"

Then the conversation ends there. Because, if I were to go on about everything that happened, the talk would have gone on for hours, as I recall every little detail of how I saw God work!

Yeah!!  Panama was actually that fantastic! =)


If you want to know more, read on, as I try to put into words how God actually blew my mind every day in the month of May! This will be done in a question and answer format:

How big was your team?
My team consisted of 24 students from across Canada. Some of us traveled together, finding other teammates in the airports (I couldn't find mine in the airport, so I met her in El Salvador), and finally we all met in Panama City, in the Hostel we were staying at. We also had 10 staff with us, some were on staff with Campus for Christ, others were students there as interns, but they were all staff in our eyes. Another important aspect to our team was also the Panamanian students and staff that are a part of Vida Estudiantil, the ministry we were partnering with. Together, the "Canamanians" worked to help students discover Jesus.

What did you do there?
While we were there, a majority of our time was spent on the University campuses. The team was split into 2 smaller teams, to go to two different universities. On my campus, we spent time in the Technological building and the English Department, roaming about seeing if the students wanted to talk with us. Many of the students we approached said yes, and from there, conversations and friendships were formed. The point of our conversations was to talk about God- telling the Panamanian students that there is more to life than good marks and making money, but entering into a growing and personal relationship with God. The students were very eager to enter into a relationship with their Creator.

Days that we were not on campus were spent fixing up the main office of the church and Vida Estudiantil- painting the walls, putting together new office furniture, washing the floors etc. etc. The rest of our down time was spent hanging out with our Panamanian friends, playing soccer, or seeing the must see sights of Panama like the canal and Old Panama City.

What is the biggest thing you learned there?
I learned a lot- a lot about God, about myself, and about the culture there. So, I'll share a little about all of those. First about the culture. Panamanians are very relational, and very polite. As Canadians, we could walk around and meet students who instantly became friends. Professors allowed us to come into their classes to give talks and also out of curiosity - why we were there and about Canada in general. One of our favourite sayings was "The Panamanian climate is warm, but the hearts of the people are even warmer".

About God, guys, I have to say that He is amazingly big (so glad I got a taste of his awesomeness). He was continually answering our prayers in ways that we could never have asked or imagined. Going into the project, we were asked to pray to see 60 people come to Christ (for me, that was a really huge number, but I still prayed and believed). Trust God to go above and beyond our expectations (He cannot be limited by numbers). We saw over 90 people come to Christ (including professors). My friend (to the left) and I prayed that a professor would let us give a class presentation, God answered.

About myself, I learned that I could dream big and live it all to God. I also realized that I couldn't control things that happen to me. I have never been one to see the upside in most situation, but through preparing for this project, being on project, I could actually be joyful in all situations (got commended with the 1 Thessalonians 5:16 NLT award). I realized that I needed people to help me get through life. There are so many things beyond my control, and by giving them to God, life becomes a lot more managable.

What are some of the highlights from your trip?
The whole month was incredible, but I think the best part was seeing God answer our prayers. Spending time on campus, making friends and sharing God's love with the students and kids in elementary schools. They were always ready/willing to chat- about God and things of a spiritual nature, studies or life in Canada. But also, some great times include hanging out with my team (and roommates), the crazy bus rides and playing soccer with the Panamanians.

There, you got it, a brief overview of Panama. (If you have any questions, shoot me an email at ib.jay@hotmail.com, and I will answer you as soon as I can).

The feeling of being back Home!

I'm home now!  After over a day of travel, I'm finally home!  The anticipation of being home (as I was in Panama for 10 extra days) that was building up inside me has finally been able to be released.  However, it's not like I had expected it to be.  Actually, I didn't know what to expect.  It's weird and I'm not exactly sure how to react.

I feel that I'm in a numb stage right now.

I shed a tear randomly, but never more than that. 

I'm so happy to be home and so excited about the future.  But there seems to be a little piece of me missing. 

I recall the laughs and jokes I shared with my friends I made there.  I imagine hugging/greeting them in the Panamanian way.  I see their faces as they are so involved in the English club sessions. Their enthusiasm written all over their faces as they take part in the plan exercises. In my head I hear their voices reciting the English words given, I hear the choir singing songs of praise to God. I see the faces of those who came to Christ, I recall how they smiled as if a weight was lifted off their shoulders. I think about how they are now.  Will they remember me always?  Will they miss me?  When will I see them again?  Or will I? 

I no longer have four other girls sharing a room with me or living in a house with 24 people (called Casa de Hostal, i think).  I can be alone. I'm home alone.  But it's strange and almost eerily uncomfortable.  I haven't had time by myself for the one and half months.  What do I do?!  Part of me is missing.  My team.  My team that has help build me up.  My roommates.  The my team that has been through everything with me for the last 1.5 months.  My team that has shared tears, laughs, pain, sickness, prayer and more.  My team that has become my family!

This transitioning into the next chapter of my life may be a little harder than I thought.  But I won't allow fear to set in.  I won't allow the devil to hinder me from ministering to my family, friends, and strangers here in Canada.  I won't let up on serving the Lord.  I won't forget all that has happened the last 1.5 months and I will apply all that I've learned.  This chapter might have just ended but a new one is beginning to unfold. 

I cannot do it alone.  I no longer have my teammates, but my Master hasn't left.  My Leader.  My Lover.  My Savior. My Healer.  My Redeemer.  My Everything.  My Jesus Christ is with me to lead me every step of the way.  He will hold my hand.  He will count my tears.  He knows my sorrow.  He knows the plans for my life.  He will direct me.  And I trust Him.  I trust Him completely.  He is all I want.  Jesus Christ is the only one that will lead me and guide me through every step of my life. 

2 Samuel 22

I went into this project with a question: "Do I see myself doing missionary work in the future?." I cannot give a definite answer but I can surely say that now, I feel called to go to  Central America on mission trips (if it's God's will).